Someday

Maybe someday I’ll treat my feet better and stop wearing high heels. Maybe I’ll stop drinking so much, or stop drinking at all. Maybe I’ll start running and eat better and drink eight glasses of water a day. Maybe I’ll stop staying up so late and I’ll figure out what wakes me up in the middle of the night.

 

Maybe someday I’ll stop falling in love with men who are emotionally dead and genetically programmed to leave me. Maybe I’ll stop giving away my body just so that I feel like someone cares enough to own me. Maybe I’ll learn to expect someone to love me as much as I love myself.

 

Maybe someday I’ll stop watching TV and start reading and knitting and dancing more.

 

Maybe someday I’ll start living up to my potential and I’ll study as much as I should and I’ll be at the top of my class instead of swimming lazily somewhere in the middle. Maybe I’ll admit to myself that I love music more than I love anything else. Maybe I’ll finally meet a musician who doesn’t take himself too seriously and wants to try to save the world with me.

 

Maybe someday I’ll leave all my hurts in the past where they belong. Maybe I’ll reclaim my childhood heroes: Pocahontas and Anne of Green Gables and my mom and any other woman who refused to be anything the world expected her to be.

 

Maybe someday I’ll be as good and pure and daring as I used to be.